I have had my own life before this one as a mother. I have lived in a college dorm, lived alone moved two times to two different states where I did not know one single person. I bought a house when I was twenty-five and traveled to Central America by myself when I turned thirty.
I have had free time I didn't even know was free time. Time for conversations with friends, time for spontaneous meals at restaurants, time to sit on a beach, read the paper, or even take a nap.
So I know my life has taken a sharp turn when I consider free time to be a trip down to the basement to put laundry in the dryer. I had such "free time" yesterday. It was 4:30 pm, Adirah woke from her nap in a good mood. Asher was happy with an art project.
What I didn't know was that Asher was also spiraling down to a blood sugar induced low, as he almost always has to be convinced to eat. He often has severe mood swings and breakdowns when he becomes hungry, yet refuses to eat in that state. The only way to really assure he will eat is to put a plate of food in front of him about a half hour before one of these predicted moods swings. Today this breakdown happened early, before I could think to prepare some food.
Maybe I had been distracted with my backwards time formulas. Today's went something like this:
"Asher should be lying in his bed by 7:30pm, his sheets and mattress pad are still in the wash......They need to dry for 70 minutes. It is now 4:30pm..... I may forget to put them in the dryer if I don't do it now......So I am just going to put the baby on the floor and run down to the basement while Asher works with art projects at the kitchen table."
I went to the basement for my precious "free time" I was weary, yet forced to act quickly as usual. My thought process was now now this:
"Sheets and mattress pad in dryer. Be sure to set on high because mattress pad is water resistant and takes a while to dry. Oh, I should put some towels in the wash? Okay, towels in the wash....Is that screaming I hear upstairs?"
I ran upstairs expecting to find Adirah screaming, but it was not the baby. It was Asher red faced with tears streaked down his face.
Asher had been fashioning "binoculars" out of toilet paper rolls. He had an elaborate system where he taped the toilet paper rolls together and then put them in a paper coffee cup. I am not sure how the project was going to evolve, but it got interrupted when the binoculars came apart. While I was in the basement, the binoculars fell apart, and Asher screamed. Adirah, delighted to see such an out pour of emotion, assumed it was good and gave Asher a big smile. Asher subsequently threw his beloved art project, the tape and the markers across the floor (not at her thank goodness). Adirah, in her baby innocence, still assumed such an enthusiastic response meant that brother was happy. So she smiled even bigger and giggled.
When I came back up I said, "What happened?"
"My binooooccculars......" Asher cried,
"They broke," he screamed barely audible, "And Adirah thought it was funny so I threw my tape and my pen across the floor so she KNEW it wasn't funny."
I looked at Adirah, then back at Asher. Then I turned to look at Adirah again.
Maybe I had been distracted with my backwards time formulas. Today's went something like this:
"Asher should be lying in his bed by 7:30pm, his sheets and mattress pad are still in the wash......They need to dry for 70 minutes. It is now 4:30pm..... I may forget to put them in the dryer if I don't do it now......So I am just going to put the baby on the floor and run down to the basement while Asher works with art projects at the kitchen table."
I went to the basement for my precious "free time" I was weary, yet forced to act quickly as usual. My thought process was now now this:
"Sheets and mattress pad in dryer. Be sure to set on high because mattress pad is water resistant and takes a while to dry. Oh, I should put some towels in the wash? Okay, towels in the wash....Is that screaming I hear upstairs?"
I ran upstairs expecting to find Adirah screaming, but it was not the baby. It was Asher red faced with tears streaked down his face.
Asher had been fashioning "binoculars" out of toilet paper rolls. He had an elaborate system where he taped the toilet paper rolls together and then put them in a paper coffee cup. I am not sure how the project was going to evolve, but it got interrupted when the binoculars came apart. While I was in the basement, the binoculars fell apart, and Asher screamed. Adirah, delighted to see such an out pour of emotion, assumed it was good and gave Asher a big smile. Asher subsequently threw his beloved art project, the tape and the markers across the floor (not at her thank goodness). Adirah, in her baby innocence, still assumed such an enthusiastic response meant that brother was happy. So she smiled even bigger and giggled.
When I came back up I said, "What happened?"
"My binooooccculars......" Asher cried,
"They broke," he screamed barely audible, "And Adirah thought it was funny so I threw my tape and my pen across the floor so she KNEW it wasn't funny."
I looked at Adirah, then back at Asher. Then I turned to look at Adirah again.
She smiled and clapped her hands.
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xo