It is always a risk to spend an entire afternoon away from the house with a small baby and a four year old but today I did not want to be home. It was warm for March in Portland. Maybe 55 degrees, so I wanted to spend time outside. I picked up Asher from preschool at 12:15, we made a quick trip to the second hand baby clothing store. From there, we walked to the park, and after an hour or so in the park, we walked to the local grocery store. I tried to manage the needs of both children and simultaneously tried to prevent my the worst case scenario. The worst case scenario is that Asher has to poop at the same time that Adirah has to nurse. This is the worst case for many reasons.
1. Asher has recently decided that he can not spend one second alone. So if he has to poop I must sit with him.
2. Asher can spend a long time on the toilet. Up to a half hour. And he does not realize that NO ONE really wants to sit next to someone who is pooping. Especially for a half hour
3. I refuse to nurse in a bathroom
So using the transitive property or something like that you can see the dilemma.
I managed to stay one step ahead of things. I gave Asher a snack before he got too hungry. I played games with him and kept him entertained. The baby stayed asleep at the park because I slowly moved the stroller back and forth when I saw her stir. Miraculously, when we walked the eight blocks from the park to the grocery store Asher did not complain about walking. When Adirah woke up and needed to nurse I was able to nurse her in a chair at the back of the grocery store. Asher needed a drink and I had water on hand. I drank a lot of water and found a bathroom for myself when I needed it. Well, within a half hour or so of when I needed it.
I am making this sound easy, but this kind of afternoon requires a lot of concentration for a mom who does not sleep that much. I was constantly calculating time: Three hours had passed since I picked up Asher at school. The walk back to the car was going to take at least fifteen minutes. I needed to begin preparing dinner by 5pm so that Asher could eat, bathe and get to sleep on time. We needed to pay for our groceries and get out of the store. I felt fatigued and exhausted. And then, Asher began asking, no, BEGGING for things in the store.
"Can I have that?" Asher asked, pointing to a toy airplane near the checkout lane.
"No."
"Mom, mom, I NEED this," He said, clutching a stuffed animal."
"No," I said gently and evenly, putting the animal back.
and then,
"Candy corn, Mom, candy corn. Can I have candy corn? Why not? I like candy corn."
Asher, " I heard myself say with a stern voice, "I have held it together until now, but I will LOSE IT if you keep talking about candy corn. And you DO NOT want to see me lose it."
Asher's eyes widened. He stopped begging.
The guy checking us out laughed. "You really sound like a mom," he said.
I laughed too, and I thought, "Yes. I really am."
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